A man saved
by msquared
Summary: What happens if Luke had lived through the surgery at the end? Read and find out
1. Chapter 1

**Disclamer: i dont own anything that you recognise... which i wish i did but...**

**Hope you like it. R+R at the end but no flames.**

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After six hours in the waiting room with her parents, Luke's mom, Nancy, Frank and Solena, I had woken with a jolt. I hadn't thought I had fallen asleep but when the phone rang and the attendant came to us saying that Luke was in recovery, I felt relieved at the thought.

Soon afterwards we were told that, since a transplant donor had been found, instead of going to a regular room to recover, he would go straight to the ICU. There, he would be allowed to be visited by anyone he wished to see until he was strong enough to go through the transplant surgery. At that point, it would only be his direct family.

"Wait doc," I said. Will that mean that I won't be able to see him?"

"Well it depends," was his reply. "Mainly how he is feeling and what he wants. I have heard that you are real close and you care for him a lot. How's this sound? When we hit that point, I'll ask Luke what he wants as long as you don't pressure him into wanting you there but I still make the final call. Sound good?"

"Sure doc, it sounds fine. And I won't pressure him. I promise."

After an hour, when we got to see him, I knew that I would keep that promise. I didn't want to be away from him if I didn't have to. Plus, he had the right to decide.

Nancy was allowed to see Luke first and, although I wanted to see him so badly, I knew that it was her right.

10 minutes later, she came out and the rest of us went in with her. I was shocked at what I saw. He was attached to an IV and a heart monitor. I was about to cry until I found that it was regular procedure considering what he had gone through. He was sitting up in bed and greeted people as they came in. After the formalities, Luke did something he had rarely done before. He asked to speak to Frank and Solena without me. Normally it had always been us as a 4-some.

I don't know exactly what he said but it must have been important since when the rest of us were called back, the 3 of them seemed somber… or at least more so than earlier. I wasn't sure how but I made up my mind that I would ask about it later… not that I was sure I wanted to hear it.

Finally, everyone left leaving Luke and me alone. My parents drove Frank and Solena home and Nancy decided that she would go get something to eat since it was near 6pm. Frank had left his car for me to drive so that Luke and I could spend some time together which was greatly appreciated.

When we were finally alone, I sat on his bed and gave him a giant hug and kiss but all the while watching that I didn't hurt him by leaving on him too hard.

"I was so worried this morning. I am not sure what I would have done if I had lost you. I am SO glad that you are ok."

"Well, the battle isn't over yet. I still have the transplant and a long road to recovery but I won't go out without a fight."

"Well, you never were one to loose a fight. Not if you could help it at least."

"Ya know, you're right about that. With this, though, I'm just not sure who is in control. Julie, I know the thought is depressing but please don't look at me like that. I need to talk to someone about my fears. Like trust me, I won't leave you alone if I have any say in the matter but please, I'd rather talk to you about it then someone I don't know."

"I know Luke. I just love you and having you near me means everything to me." I said as I snuggle closer to his body, making sure that I don't hurt him. I was a great feeling just to be able to stay there with him however I didn't voice my pleasure. I didn't need to.

A while later, I decided to ask him what had been on my mind for a good part of the afternoon, what had he said to Frank and Solena?

"Well, I can give you the answer one of two ways. Do you want it straight of beating around the bush?"

"Luke! How long have you known me? Give me things straight. You know that is how I prefer things."

"OK. Well, I asked them to keep an eye on you. No it's not cuz I think that you won't be ok or cuz I think that you might go out with someone else. The fact of the matter is that I will be going through hell and yes I know that you will insist on going through this with me but to see me in whatever state, I wanted to know that you would have someone to fall back on. During my chemo, you rarely did anything. This time I want you to have fun, go out with Frank and Solena."

"But how can I go out with then knowing that you are here? I do want to have fun but I won't. Plus, I would love to stay with you as long as I can. I love you Luke. I couldn't have fun if I knew that you were here and couldn't have fun with me. It's not fair!"

"Life isn't fair. Trust me I know. But I don't want you to hang around like this was a bedside vigil. I wouldn't be able to stand it. It's you senior year. Have fun! I'm not saying that you need to go out with someone else. I'm saying that you should not give up on your own life for my sake. Please! Promise me."

"I can't. Fun just isn't fun without you. I will feel so bad doing that. Don't ask me to."

"I have to. Plus, if you have fun you can come back and tell me what you guys have been doing and so I can live kind of through you. PLEASE!" He had this look in his eyes that was somewhere between pleading and hope. It was a look I couldn't say no to if I tried.

"OK. I don't have much of a choice anyway do I?"

"Nope… well kind of but not really. Just come here. I want to hold you as close to me as possible right now. I don't know what I would do without you."

I curled up in his arms and didn't want to move. When the nurse came in at 8 to kick me out, I didn't want to leave but I had no choice. I went home, got something to eat and fell on my bed crying. How could this happen?


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclamer : anything you recognize I don't own. **

**A/N: sorry it took me so long to update but I've had a million things doing so... R+R**

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A week had passed and, while Luke was still in the hospital, I started to relent to his will. Friday, I went out with Frank and Solena to the bowling alley. This, however, was with much reluctance. I did have a good time but I did also have to admit that I would have had more fun had Luke been there.

When I got to the hospital on Saturday morning, I told Luke about our night.

"We went bowling. It was lots of fun but your lack of being there really put a damper on the whole evening for all of us. I did find out though that I can bowl not half badly without your coaching."

"Oh, you did, did you? I'm going to have to tell Frank to kill you next time. I can't have you better than me."

"He did kill me. I just was able to break 100. It's not great since he broke 200 but still. I actually just put your tips to use."

"Well, I'm glad you had fun then. I wish I had been there but I am really happy that you could."

"Same here. It was good not to have to worry about things for a while, just be a teenager."

"Yes it was, for both of us. For a while last night I knew that no matter what happened you would be ok. Well, at least sort of. I don't think you would truly be ok if I was gone but I knew that you would be taken care of."

"You aren't still thinking like you are going to die are you?" I replied with a bit of a tremor in my voice. I didn't want to have him discouraged but I didn't want to make him think that I was putting pressure on him to live. I had seen full well where that had gotten me, and him. It had gotten us to a point where he knew he had the cancer back but didn't go to his appointment. It had landed us both in this situation.

"No, I don't consciously think so but I also don't want to leave you alone either. It's because I love you that I want, no need, to examine all possibilities. The first, which is of my living isn't a problem for me to figure out. Trust me Julie, I want to live, I want to marry you and start a family with you, adopted if need be. If I didn't live is, trust me, a harder one to look at. Don't look at me like that Julie. I know that I am hurting you but always that possibility lingers in my head. After the surgery for the transplant I will promise not to bring up death again until we are doddering old fools but until then, I have no choice. I couldn't make you leave me and now I don't, ok never did want you to but with you having fun with Solena and Frank, I know that you will be taken care of."

"Oh Luke," I mumbled, not really sure of myself. I guess I had known that it must have gone through his mind when he first had told me to have fun but this… I barely knew what to say. "I know that I haven't thought about you dying since I don't even want to think it possible. I love you and you are my whole life. I know that I am putting pressure on you to live but not because I think you need the pressure but because I love you and want to same things you do. What I said back in the Church in California, I meant it. With all my heart, I meant every word; to marry you and start a family. I never told you before but when Deidra was saying her vows, I wasn't looking at her; I was looking into your eyes and saying those words to you."

"So did I. I meant what I said and don't plan on backing out on my promise. And to be honest with you, I wasn't looking at them either. I was looking only at you. And yes, I was saying the words along with Uncle Steve. If you had noticed, we each had each others eyes. I sort of knew what you were thinking when the vows being said; I hadn't taken my eyes off you and I had read your mind that you wanted me beside you forever. I will try to do that for you, no matter what I have to do. One condition thought, and you have to promise."

"What condition? I promise nothing but I want to know what first." I wasn't sure what else to say. Was there something even to say?

"Promise me that no matter what happens, with or without me you will go to the new stadium everyday after school from the beginning of spring. You will know when to stop, if it is without me I mean. Without me could just mean that I am still in the hospital, ok."

I honestly couldn't believe what he was asking of me. It was something important I was sure, but seriously, was his medication doing something strange to his mind? At first, I didn't know what to say but finally I did promise. I was also glad that he said that without him could mean he was in the hospital. The relief must have shown on my face since he grabbed my hand and gave it a kiss.

"I know that it is a strange request but it's important to me. I'm glad that you will. By the way, I know you have relief written all over your face that I am not thinking that I will die but remember, I said could. This means no guarantees."


	3. Chapter 3

The year went on and things were looking up. The first week of February, Luke had been booked for his transplant surgery and came out with flying colours. His doctor had said that for a few weeks only his mother would he allowed since it would be easier for the marrow to take if less people were around. I was upset but I wanted the best for Luke and just hoped for the best and knew that Nancy would fill me in with the details anyways.

On Valentines Day, I was sent a bouquet for a dozen red roses. On the card, I found how much Luke had changed psychologically. Sure, he had sent me poems before but they generally had a Hallmark type of wording, corny but sweet. This one had just sweet. It read:

From someone, who I know, cares for you

To someone sweet, who I hope cares for me

I cannot be with you, though I wish that I could

I with to be with you, forever, like we think we should

It wasn't signed but I knew it was from Luke. On one else would say something like that to me. I loved it, how even when he was in the hospital, he sent me flowers. I just thought that it was nice to know that no matter what, he had me on his mind. It wasn't sure if I should have sent back a note or a personal message with Nancy saying thanks to Luke but in the end it didn't matter. The reason for that was that when I got home from school, there was a message from Luke saying that I could come and see him. The doctors had pronounced him well enough that he could pick one person to come see him, and he chose me.

I go to the hospital in record time. When I got to the ICU, he was sleeping but the nurse allowed me to go and wake him.

"He has been asleep for hours and I'm sure seeing your face will cheer him up, particularly today. Heck, he has been talking about little else but you for the last few weeks," she told me.

I went in and timidly touched his shoulder. Half of me didn't want to wake him but, after weeks of not seeing him, I did anyways.

"Luke, honey, thanks for the flowers," I said as he was waking up. As he opened his eyes, he saw my face and smiled. "I'm so glad that you found a way to send me flowers. I'm not sure if everything can be solved that way though."

"No problem honey. I knew that it was Valentines and I didn't want another guy getting the upper hand," he said sitting up. "And I knew that you wouldn't care about today if nothing big happened but I wasn't going to let it go. You're my girl. Plus, your dad would kill me if I treated you wrong."

"What! Are you saying that you remembered Valentines because you are afraid of my dad?" I said, pretending to be pissed. "It had nothing to do with me?"

At that, he rolled his eyes and took me in his arms. He pulled me closer and gave me a kiss.

"You still think that it was just your dad?" He asked afterwards. He knew full well that I didn't from the beginning but that he was glad for the excuse to kiss me. I could see that in how his eyes were twinkling, hungry for the sight of me.

"Of course not! And you were right, I wasn't expecting much. How did you get it to me anyway? You have had no contact with the outside world for weeks. Barely even phone calls."

"Do you expect me to give you all my secrets? How will I be able to impress you with stuff for the rest of my life and yours? Ok, don't look at me like that," –I had given him some puppy dog eyes, "fine, I asked the nurse to call. Well, actually she told her boyfriend to call since well, with the poem, it seemed to be better. I asked mom to pay for it from my account."

"Thanks. I really appreciate it. Although, I do have to say, seeing you is the best valentines gift I could have ever gotten."

"Yes, but I wasn't in the charge of that. I guess that my begging to see you has paid off. For the last while, all I had wanted was to see your face again. I am really happy that I got to today. I would probably have gone stir crazy had I not seen you soon."

"It's the same with me. However, that said, next year will be awful since I will probably be out of town."

"Hey," he said taking my hand. "Lets cross that bridge when we get there."

"I know but I don't want to be away from you. Not for an entire year. I couldn't even stand those six weeks last year when you were on radiation and you were ignoring me. I know, I know, it was, sorry is, the same for you all year, it would not be fun."

"Well, an idea is that maybe you should take a year off and work and we can enter as freshmen together the following year. How does that sound?"

"What about my mother? She won't like the plan. Plus, I'm not even sure if she knows how serious we are."

"Well, I'll talk to coach and he'll set her straight. He does know how serious we are. Well, he knows at least well enough to tell me that if we got married before he has had two seasons on the new field, he would break my neck."

"He actually said that! My dad? You tell him our plans or did he just guess? I didn't think he was that observant, or even that I mattered in his life these days. I thought that all that mattered was football and the new stadium."

"He wants the best for you. These days, that means me too. Yes, I did tell him that I was going to marry you at some point. I did even before knowing if you would want me."

"OK, spill buster! When was this?" It was hard to know whether I was upset or wierded out that my dad knew about a promise ring before I did. It wasn't even a proposal, just a promise. I guess that at this point it didn't matter but still I wanted to know.

"I told him one day on the phone in California. When I called home to tell mom the news, your dad was at my house. That was why you just left a message. I don't know what your dad was doing at my place but I don't care. Either way, I told him that I intended to give you a promise ring while we were there and was just waiting for the right time."

"That was why you were on the phone for so long," I said thinking out loud. "But why did you? Would you still have asked me if he had kyboshed the whole idea?"

"I would still have asked you and given you the ring but I would have just put my plans for later on hold until he was cool with the idea. The reason I told him is that I know that your dad likes me going out with you but since we are young and I don't have a huge means of support from the financial side, I wanted to make sure that I didn't estrange us from a support system that I have had for years in your dad. Well, that and I felt like doing things right."

I didn't know what to say so I just gave him a smile and cuddled in closer to him until I had to leave since visiting hours were up.


End file.
